So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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