yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
