like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
