Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
