honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
