Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize