I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
