i would punch a child for taco bell
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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