no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize