yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
