3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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