I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
