Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
