Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it hurts more in the daytime
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
