Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
