i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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