That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize