Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
