I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
