Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
even my farts smell like vagina
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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