Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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