its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
