Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i need some magic done to my vagina
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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