Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
