He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
birth control should be required to get into college
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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