her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
