She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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