Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
