We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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