Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize