she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
