she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
