It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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