I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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