I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
