I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
