wakey wakey hands off snakey
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize