I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
