With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
