Is it because I queefed?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
