I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
