I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
