just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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