dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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