at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
