I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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