i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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