he shaved USA in his pubs
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
