I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
