ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
