And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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