Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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