for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Houston, we have a squirter
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
