Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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