Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize