Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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