she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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