i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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