Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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