so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize