Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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