i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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