There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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