Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
