Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She bit a glass in half.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
