I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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