: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
