That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
