I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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