I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize