i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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