My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
