Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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