Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
