I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
