I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
