She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
