If i come over, it means nothing
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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