I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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