Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
